The Myth of Normal 189

the United States, and to lesser degrees in Canada and the U.K., has tragically borne out the acuity of this observation. The endorphin system, too, is dependent on supportive, attuned relationships early in life for its development. “Face-to-face interactions activate the child’s sympathetic nervous system,” writes Louis Cozolino, a clinical psychologist, neuroscientist, and professor of psychology at Pepperdine University. “These higher levels of activation correlate with increased production of oxytocin, prolactin, endorphins, and dopamine; some of the same biochemical systems involved in addiction.”[7] A child’s closeness with the attuned, emotionally available parent promotes the optimal growth of brain systems; the lack of it inhibits healthy development. Work has been the main, but not only, addiction of singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette. In endorphin-friendly terms, she now speaks of it as a compensation. “There’s an attachment-craving in being famous,” she said when we spoke. “If you think about it, eyeballs are on you. Everyone’s hyper-responsive. Everyone’s paying attention to you . . . You keep chasing that sense of being loved and adored and stared at.” Morissette was seeking to attain through her fame that state of infant bliss so many miss out on or experience all too briefly. When Robert Palmer sang about being addicted to love, he might have been speaking to all of us with our hands raised—all the drug addicts, all the workaholics, all the compulsive gamblers and shoppers and eaters, all those hopelessly chasing the next exciting high or soothing low. Except it’s not really love we get hooked on but our desperate attempts to cope with its lack, by any means necessary. Sobering stuff, I know. But we might as well face it.